Two Weeks and Two Days

Please forvige me. I apologize for taking this long to post, but I have been busy. I know I shouldn't make excuses, and instead make improvements, but it has been absolutely crazy here. The good kind though.

So... where to begin?

I guess I will do this in a (somewhat) systematic order. First, auf wiedersehen.

On September 6th, 2011, I said goodbye to people that I have spent 16 years of my life with. Yes, I am referring to my family. It was definitely hard and it didn't quite hit me what was going on. I hadn't realized that I would be leaving these people that I love so dearly for ten months. On one hand, it is only ten months. And I will see them again, so what's the big deal? But on the other hand, ten months is almost a year. Ein ganzes Jahr. One year away from people that I love and am totally comfortable with. But that's part of life. We all go through stages and spend time together and time apart. Right now, for me, it is my time apart. But that's okay. And instead, I want to focus on the year ahead. Of course I will think about my family (I do everyday!) and I DEFINITELY miss them. But that is not the point of my year abroad. The point is to immerse myself in a different culture, make new friends, improve my German, learn important lessons, and become part of a new family. And I can assure you that there are times when I just imagine what it would be like if I were at home right now. Probably doing homework, going to school, running cross country, carrying on with my life as usual. And I think about how I feel comfortable with that routine. How I feel comfortable with the people that I have gotten to know over the years. How I feel comfortable with my life, nothing too out-of-the-box. But that's the thing. Nothing is new, or different, or truly out-of-my-comfort-zone. And at moments like those, when I don't feel 100% comfortable, those are the moments when I learn the most. The moments that I learn about myself and just who I really am. And I learn about things that I could improve and talents that I didn't know existed. So, sure, I could be spending this year at home and continue on with my life as usual. And feel comfortable and natural and understand what people are saying. But instead, I chose to spend a year in Germany. And I encourage you to do the same. It doesn't have to be year, it can be a couple weeks, or months, or even days just immersing yourself in a different culture. Or even try something new. The point is to put yourself out there and be willing to learn and observe. And so, this year I am trying to look forward, and not back. Forward in a lot of ways. I want to look forward to the next day, look foward to this year, look forward to that moment when I start thinking in German, and look forward, into Germany and my life here. Sometimes I might glance back and think about my family, friends, and hometown. But only for a little bit. Never long enough to dwell on those things and make myself homesick, because that would only hinder my experience here. Of course I will keep in contact with everybody back home and I will never forget you, but for right now, I want to focus on Germany as much as possible. And I keep reminding myeself that, hey, it is a year. And I can look at it so many ways. But the most important, I think, is that time flies, whether you're having fun or not. (Thanks, Aunt Dorit!) And I know that this year will fly by. Trust me, it already is. So, I want to make sure that I make the ABSOLUTE MOST out of my time here.

As a side note: Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When saying goodbye to my family and friends, I hadn't realized that I was leaving for a year and so I didn't cry. But once I saw them drive away, it hit me that that would be the last time for ten months that I would see them. And that's when the tears started flowing. And now here, I am also realizing just how much I love you guys. And I feel bad that I took you guys for granted. I now understand that I should not take anything for granted, even my family and friends, because in a moment they can be gone forever. Now, I want to treat everyone like a gift. Something precious that is not mine for the keeping. But instead, for the time that that person is in my life, I want to make sure that I spend time with them and show them just how much they mean to me. Anna, you mean the world to me. And I didn't realize just how special you are to me know that I have my own room. :) You are a very unique and precious gift from God. I love you girl and just remember, we are never far apart. (And enjoy this time when you have your own room!)

Love you guys!

The Impossible Endeavor of Packing

44 pounds. My checked bag, for an entire year, can weigh no more than 44 pounds. And I'm a teenage girl. Impossible?

But then it makes you think. How much do I really need for a year? I read an article a little while back about a woman that wore the same gray shirt-dress for a year. And it took people at least a month to notice that she was wearing the same thing everyday. Of course she washed it and changed the accessories, but still, it took people a while to realize what she was doing. And then the lady gave the extra money, which she would've spent on clothes, to a good cause. I love this story because it can be interpreted as fashion wisdom and a life-lesson.  The fashion lesson is that by changing your accessories you can make an outfit look completely different. And it is always good to have a plain, simple piece of clothing which you can do many things with. The more important lesson, however, is the fact that clothes are not everything. Of course clothes are a necessity, but we do not need an extravagant amount. I'm not saying that it's bad to own more than one outfit, because it is always nice to look presentable. What I am talking about is when clothes became the biggest priority in people's lives. What really matters are the relationships that you form with people and the experiences that you have. Also, if everybody is focused on the clothes that they are wearing, they don't normally notice your clothes because they are thinking about their own.  And as shown in the story, other people don't tend to notice what you wear everyday, so does it matter what your clothes are like? Or does it matter what YOU are like?

Still, it's hard for me to fit everything into one suitcase under 44 pounds.  I just got to keep reminding myself that clothes are not as important as I have made them out to be.  And I owe a lot to my mom (shout out!) for putting up with my emotional roller coaster and for helping me with my terrible packing skills.  You are the one that puts my head back on my shoulders.  Mother darling, what will I do without you next year?

Also, I leave tomorrow and I'm not even fully done packing!  Gahhh!  So nerve-racking.  But so far, I think I will (miraculously and barely) be able to make it all work.  I'm just worried about coming back...